Parenting Ethics

author: High Priest Zevios Metathronos

The ethics of raising a child in Zevism, set out by age. Each stage of childhood has its own law. Keep these rules and the child grows toward strength, wisdom and freedom, ready to stand before the Gods on their own feet.

The Delphic maxims of the ages of life, inscribed by Clearchus at Ai Khanoum

παῖς ὢν κόσμιος γίνου, ἡβῶν ἐγκρατής, μέσος δίκαιος, πρεσβύτης εὔβουλος, τελευτῶν ἄλυπος.

"As a child, be orderly; as a youth, master of yourself; in middle age, just; in old age, of good counsel; at the end, without grief."

The Foundation

Children are the most important beings, because they are the generation of the future (Children Ethics). Their care, their love, their education and their training are among the highest tasks a human being can undertake. At every age, 7 rules hold.

• The child is a child of the Gods. The Gods relate to human beings as parents to children, never as masters to slaves (Theoteknia). The parent is the first image of that bond the child will ever see. Raise the child for growth, never for servitude.
• Every correction serves the child's improvement. Discipline has one purpose: to make the child better. Never correct from anger, never to humiliate, never to relieve the parent's own temper.
• The parent teaches first by example. The child becomes what the parent does far more than what the parent says. Live the ethic you teach.
• Questions are welcome. The child's "why?" is the engine of growth. A parent who forbids questions raises a servant; a parent who answers them raises a free mind.
• Warmth and firm measure go together. Love without measure spoils the child; measure without love breaks the child. Hold both every day.
• Crimes against children are an abomination. Abuse of a child is strictly forbidden in the Temple of Zeus and is a sin against the Eternal Gods (Children Ethics).
• The path belongs to the adult. The rites of childhood protect the child. At 18 the young adult chooses their own path freely. Zeus does not force Himself on anyone (The Ephebeia).

The Five Stages at a Glance

Ages 0 to 2: The Inner Emotional Foundation

Everything rests on these 2 years. Here the inner emotional foundations are set: trust, safety, calm, and the deep sense that the world answers when the child calls. The intellect that wakes later grows on this ground, and the freedom given later stands on it. A house can be repainted many times; its foundation is poured once.

• Answer the child. Crying is the infant's only speech. Answer it with presence, food, warmth and holding. An answered child learns trust.
• Hold the child close. Carry, rock and hold the infant often. Touch, voice and face are the infant's first nourishment after milk.
• Keep the home calm. No shouting, no violence and no fear near the infant. The infant takes in the mood of the house before any word.
• Protect the body. Feed the child well, nursing where possible, and keep sleep safe. Never shake or strike an infant.
• Speak and sing. Talk to the child all day, name the world, sing, and read aloud from the first months.
• Bring the child before the Gods. Perform the Amphidromia and the Infant Baptism, and let the child grow up with the candle, the prayer and the Names of the Gods as the music of home.

Ages 2 to 4: The Awakening Will

The will awakens. The child says "no", wants to do everything alone and tests every limit. This will is the seed of the free adult. Shape it; never break it.

• Give choices within limits. Let the child choose between good options, and hold firm on the few things that matter: safety, kindness and sleep.
• Nothing is won by a tantrum. Stay calm and near, name the feeling, and hold the limit. What was refused in anger may be offered when the child is calm.
• Lay down the first habits. Regular sleep and meals, tidying toys, washing, greeting and thanking. Habit is the first teacher of virtue.
• Let play do its work. Free play, running, climbing, building and pretending are the work of this age.
• Never humiliate. No mockery, no threats of abandonment, no shaming. Correct the act and protect the child.
• Give small duties before the Gods. The child helps light the candle and says a simple word of thanks to Zeus.

Ages 4 to 9: The Beginning of the Intellect

The intellect begins. Memory is at its most open, and whatever enters now stays. Fill it with what is true, beautiful and strong.

• Tell the stories of the Gods and heroes. Myths, fables and the deeds of the great shape the soul long before reason can explain them.
• Read aloud every day. Begin letters and numbers through play, so that the child loves learning before the work grows hard.
• Give the child music and movement. Singing, an instrument, dance, running, swimming and games: music for the soul, exercise for the body.
• Answer every question truthfully. Answer at the child's level, and when you don't know, find out together.
• Practice the virtues as daily habits. Truthfulness, courage, self-control, fairness and gratitude are learned by doing them in small things every day.
• Praise effort and method. Praise the work and the method the child found, more than cleverness.
• Guard what enters the mind. Limit screens, choose stories and companions with care, and keep the child's days full of real things.

Ages 9 to 13: The Tested Intellect and the Beginning of Freedom

The intellect is now tested, and freedom begins. The child learns to give reasons, to examine them and to stand by what is true. Freedom is given in measure, as trust is proven.

• Test the mind. Ask "how do you know?" every day. Teach the child to give reasons, to find contradictions and to accept proof.
• Argue for truth, never for victory. Cleverness that serves only winning is a danger to the soul. Words serve the truth.
• Give freedom as trust is proven. Errands alone, money of their own, time to manage, tools to use. Every proven trust earns the next freedom.
• Let the child fail safely and try again. Do not rescue every fall. The child who never falls never learns to walk.
• Teach the evening review. Before sleep, the child asks 3 questions: Where did I go wrong? What did I do? What duty did I leave undone?
• Prepare the body for puberty. Explain plainly what will happen before it happens, and keep the body strong with daily exercise.
• Keep the phone out of childhood. No personal smartphone before 14 and no social media before 16.
• Begin a personal practice. The child keeps a short daily prayer of their own and learns the prayers of the Temple.

Ages 13 to 18: Training as an Adult

The training of the adult begins. Treat the young person as an adult in training: give real work, real responsibility and real consequences, with counsel always near.

• Give real responsibility. Cooking, earning and managing money, caring for younger ones, and a voice in the family's decisions.
• Build a craft to mastery. An art, a sport, a trade or a science, pursued with discipline until it is truly theirs.
• Train the body hard. Strength, endurance and a fighting art, with sleep protected and the Dietary Ethics kept.
• Train speech and judgment. Debate, writing and philosophy: the aim is to be a speaker of words and a doer of deeds.
• Teach the Life Ethics plainly. Sexual Ethics, Marriage Ethics and Drugs Ethics are taught openly, before the world teaches them badly.
• Give mentors. Teachers, coaches and the clergy of the Temple, so that the young person learns from those who walked the path before them.
• Prepare the Ephebeia. The young person trains in the 5 vows of its oath: wisdom, courage, truthfulness under Ma'at, knowledge against ignorance, and protection of the weaker.
• At 18, the choice is theirs. The Ephebeia recognizes the adult before the Gods. The Initiation follows only by free will.

What Is Forbidden at Every Age

• Abuse and cruelty in any form. Striking in anger, terrorizing, neglect and every crime against a child.
• Humiliation. Mockery, shaming, and threats of abandonment or of the withdrawal of love.
• Forbidding questions. The child of the Gods has the right to ask.
• Shameful words and deeds before children. The greatest reverence is owed to a child.
• Neglect of the child's education. Through education a human being rises from an Andrapod to a full human being (Education and Learning).
• Forcing the path of the Gods on an adult. The rites protect the child; the adult chooses.

The full guide to every stage, with the teaching of the Ancients, the evidence of modern psychology and the books for each age, is in the Zevist Parenting section.